Where's Your Integrity?

This morning Marilyn and I had a great discussion about integrity. She did two posts on her blog on this topic. Posts (1)  and (2)

The dictionary defines integrity as:

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness

One of my favorite definitions of integrity is, "It's what you do when no one else is looking."

A completely different definition that Marilyn discusses in her post is this: "The truth of the beliefs of the speaker, not the hearer."

One of the best illustrations of this concept comes from politics. Those who are passionate about their candidate, strongly believe in their personal integrity as well as that of the political candidate that they support. In fact, at a recent gathering at our house, the day before the Texas Democratic caucus, there was a heated debate between Hillary and Obama's supporters as to who would make the better President. Each of them was so busy arguing for their integrity and their beliefs, that they could not hear what the other person was saying.

Before we can judge the integrity of another person, we must understand the their belief system. What is in integrity for me may not be in integrity for someone else. Your integrity is tied to how well you follow your personal belief system.

Marilyn provided a powerful and somewhat disturbing example. If someone is a bank robber and this person sees nothing wrong with stealing money from others, then that person is acting on their integrity and is congruent. On the other hand, most of us believe that robbing banks is wrong because taking someone else's money is wrong. Nevertheless, some of these same people see nothing wrong with cheating on their taxes. It's OK to take from the government but not from the bank.

How can you spot if you are out of your personal integrity? A simple way to is to examine whether your road is straight and easy or is it filled with twists, turns, and obstacles? By that I mean, do you consistently follow a straight path in terms of your beliefs? You never waiver from them, no matter who you are with or what you are doing. If you change your beliefs or actions to fit various situations, then chances are that you are not holding true to your own integrity. Remember, it is what you believe that matters, not what someone else's standard is for you.

One of the greatest lessons that most of us face is taking responsibility for our actions. Our society is deep into the "blame game." It's someone else's fault that this happened to me. When we fail to take responsibility for what we create, we twist and wind around the lesson that we needed to learn. When we acknowledge our own roles in the creation of our lives and accept complete responsibility (easier said than done), then we are living in our integrity.

Ultimately, we are meant to live in harmony, to be in alignment with our higher purpose in life, and to experience love. Instead of cherry picking what's wrong with life and what's wrong with others, it's time we shifted our approach and focused on cherry picking what is right with us and the world we inhabit.

Posted by Bernice Ross and Marilyn Naylor

Photo by Mike Licht

Comments

[Ron C. de Weijze]

Hi, the keyword 'belief system' brought me here. My take on this issue is that integrity can work for and against you. There are two basic belief systems, supported by politics (not so much Obamaites vs Clintonions but liberal democrats vs republicans). The one treasures loyalty and trust, while the other treasures openness and honesty. Now, the point at which you seem to lose your integrity, is when the situation changes into one where your enemies can explain your loyalty as dishonesty or your honesty as disloyalty. I believe it is a paradox in society that gave rise to politics in the first place and is pointing us at the need to rethink and reshape our basic moral philosophy. I guess that this will be resolved when a true attention economy has replaced the normal economy. Attention of a special kind that has eliminated politics.

Dear Ron,

Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Well said!

Bernice