Going Where

Lessons In Life: Express Not Repress

Native Americans believe that the time of year in which your are born influences the energy that you will carry throughout life. If you are born in June, July, or August, you are born in the"South" on the Native American Medicine Wheel. The South represents the summer, the time to nourish your crops so that they may grow and reach their full potential. Individuals who are born in the summer months (South) are people of emotion. The South represents the emotional side of our being and our ability to nourish others. The key phrase for those born in the South is, “I feel.” For those born in the South, their heart is more important than their head.

    

While winter-borns are more likely to be mentally gifted and to experience brain/mental dysfunction, those born in the summer are more likely to experience learning disabilities as well as more likely to be born with Down Syndrome. While winter-borns have a mental edge, summer-borns are better adjusted emotionally. Several studies demonstrate that those born in the summer are less likely to be neurotic, are more open, and more extroverted than those born in the winter. They are more likely to believe in luck, have a more positive self perception, and to have better sense of psychological well-being. What’s particularly interesting is that this research actually links these differences to brain activity and neurotransmitters (i.e. brain chemicals). In fact, summer-borns may have a “quieter” nervous system than those born in the winter. Their autonomic nervous system (the part of our bodies that prepares us for emergencies as well as controlling heart rate, breathing, and other automatic functions) requires a stronger physical stimulus to trigger an emotional response. These differences were found to be true for both genders and in all age groups. Simply put, people born in the summer are better adjusted emotionally and don’t respond to stress as easily.

   

Each of these statements sets up what is known as a boundary. This can be done without anger or emotion. When it is said in a calm and cool voice, it normally gets people's attention more so than when you shout.

    

The lesson for those born in the South or summer, is "express not repress." It's common for summer born individuals to be comfortable with being emotional. Shouting matches often don't bother them. On the other hand, those born in the South can often hold back on their emotions and then they explode.

      

Last week I saw a perfect example of this. One of my family members likes to kid others. He is sometimes sarcastic. One of his cousins has tolerated this behavior for over 50 years. This was the year that his cousin ran out of patience. Instead of silently taking the kidding, the cousin came back with an equally sarcastic remark. The cousin was born in the South. The situation was so upsetting to him that he got up and left the event we were attending. When we went to see him later, his heart was bothering him and he was still extremely agitated.

      

For people who are born in the summer, if you repress or hold your feelings in you risk the equivalent of a volcanic explosion if you don't learn how to release the "steam" of your emotions. As in the example above, you end up causing more harm to yourself.

          

What would have been a better way to have handled the situation above? Ann Landers used to say, "Just remember when you consider fighting fire with fire, remember that the fire department uses water." A better approach would have been for this man's cousin to say, "What you're saying is hurtful. I would like you to stop now." or "Making fun of me and others hurts their feelings. If you cannot keep from making fun of me, then don't bother speaking to me at all."

      

Thus, for those born in the East, focus on expressing your emotions in a way that is not harmful to others. When someone hurts your feelings or crosses a boundary, you don't have to keep your feelings inside but you also don't need to blow up like a volcano. "Release the steam" by saying what you are experiencing, and if the other person is doing something you don't like, ask them to stop. If they don't, be willing to walk away or to stop spending time with that person. You'll be surprised at how much happier you'll be.

       

Posted by Bernice Ross

Photo by Flydime

Life's Lessons: Loyalty vs. Betrayal

Native Americans believe that the time of year in which you are born influences the energy that you will carry throughout your life. If you are born in March, April, or May, you are born in the "East" on the Native American Medicine Wheel. This is the belief or spiritual component on the Wheel. In Native tradition, spring is the time you plant your crops. Planting a seed is an act of faith that the seed will grow. In the East, we are asked to look at our higher purpose in life, our relationship to our Creator, and how we make contributions to our community.

      

The research on Season of Birth reveals some interesting facts about those born in the spring time. While they do well in school, they are more likely to have physical problems ranging from heart disease, cancer, schizophrenia, and even anorexia. The scientists speculate that this results from the fact that women who are in the second trimester of their pregnancy during the winter months, are most likely to have the flu or other types of viral illnesses. This in turn, weakens the developing fetus leading to physical concerns later in life. While spring births may be more prone to certain types of physical problems (and remember, this is as a group and doesn't necessarily apply to a particular individual), belief and contribution are their strengths.

       

The primary lesson for those born in the East is Loyalty vs. Betrayal. Loyalty can be defined as "steadfast in allegiance; unwavering in devotion;  faithful to one's oath, commitments, or obligations; showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, or to one's country. Loyalty is also the act of binding yourself intellectually and emotionally to a course of action.” In contrast, betrayal is defined as, “treachery, disloyalty; unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling; disappointing the hopes and expectations of; revealing or violating a confidence; to deceive, misguide, or corrupt; to lead astray; deceive.”

    

For those born in the East or Spring, their lesson is to be true to their own belief system. One of the most powerful illustrations of this point comes from the life of Albert Einstein. Einstein was a spring birth. He exemplified the best of the characteristics of the East—he was a pacifist and was committed to bringing peace to the world. When Nazi Germany began working on the atomic bomb, against his better judgment,

Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt recommending that America being development of atomic bombs. He never felt that the President would use the bomb against another country. Instead, it would be used for a bargaining tool. Truman made a different decision when he bombed decided to bomb Japan. Here's what Einstein said about that decision:

                                           

"I made one great mistake in my life when I signed the letter to President Roosevelt recommending that atom bombs be made."

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If your birthday is in March, April, or May, your lesson is to be true to yourself and to your personal beliefs. When you achieve this goal, you are in alignment with not only your beliefs, but with your higher purpose in life as well. On the other hand, if you violate a confidence, deceive others, or are disloyal, you are hurting yourself. Earl Nightingale, the famous author and motivational speaker, summed it up:

            

“When you seek to profit by deluding others, you only delude yourself.”

               

Posted by Bernice Ross, author of Going Where: Ancient Wisdom for People Today

Photo by Maveric2003

               

Every Day is a Great Day to Express Gratitude

One of the most important lessons that I have learned from both Marilyn and my coach training is the importance of expressing gratitude. Before you address any problem, whether or not you use the Medicine Wheel, it's important to express gratitude prior to attempting to solve the problem.

One of the great things about our country is that Thanksgiving is a national holiday where our nation gives thanks for what we have in our lives. Often times we get caught up in football, eating too much, and just having fun and may forget the spirit of this holiday. Some of us may be at home by ourselves or in difficult situations where there seems to be little hope. It's easy to forget to express our gratitude when everything is going right. It's even harder to do, however, when we are angry, hurt, or lonely.

During good times, it's easy to be grateful. Our most valuable lessons, however, often occur when we face adversity and challenge. Often times, these challenges are the great gifts in our lives providing us with wisdom to guide us later in life or to help others. When someone is dying or ill with a terrible disease, it's hard to be grateful. Yet this is the exact time when gratitude is most needed.

For example, if someone you love is ill with a terminal disease, take the time to spend time with them sharing your memories of the good times that you spent together. Laugh about the stupid things you did and forgive the old hurts that may stand between you. Be grateful for what that person brought to your life and share your gratitude. In fact, if you can find the silver lining in the challenges and the adversities you face, it will actually be easier to overcome these difficulties.

If you think about your own life for a moment, how does expressing gratitude make you feel? Normally when we say thanks to someone, it makes us feel happy. Part of that happiness comes from acknowledging the other person and seeing their pleasure in being acknowledged.

On the other hand, when we face challenges and experience stress, life tends be feel heavy and overwhelming. By expressing gratitude during these times, we can access those lighter feelings of happiness that we share when times are good. While this will not necessarily make the hurt or pain go away, it will help you to get through the difficult situation.

Consequently, the next time that you are angry, either with yourself or with someone else, try expressing gratitude.  Instead of becoming angry or hurt, do your best to sincerely say, "thank you for pointing that out." You may not agree with what the other person said, but you will probably be surprised at how much better you feel.

Posted by Bernice Ross, author of Going Where, Ancient Wisdom for People Today and Byron Van Arsdale

Photo by VirtualErn