Going Where

The Talking Circle + Really Awesome Women in Real Estate = Magic

What happens when you bring together a group of 65 of the most powerful female leaders in the real estate industry and you ask them to participate in a talking circle? The answer is "magic!"

In 2007, we held our first ever Really Awesome Women in Real Estate Conference in Albuquerque, New Mexico. During the first day of the conference, we divided our attendees into four groups depending upon their birth month. (North: December, January, February; East: March, April, May; South: June, July, August; West:September, October, November). Surprisingly, only three of our women leaders were born in the North. In contrast, we had a high number of attendees born in the South and the West.

The topic that we gave each group in 2007 was, "Who was your most important mentor and what did you learn?" Each group was given a talking stick with the following additional instructions:

1.  You may only speak when you are holdling the talking stick.

2.  You may only comment on your experience. You cannot comment on what anyone else says.

3.  Everyone is asked to share.

4.  What is said in your group is private. You can only share your own experience and you cannot share what anyone else says.

5.  The talking stick is always passed clockwise.

6.  You may talk as long as you like, but be sensitive to the fact that everyone needs to have at least one opportunity to share.

As the women began sharing, you could hear laughter coming from most of the groups. Our South group, those who are born in the emotional part of the wheel, became very emotional almost immediately. Within about 30 minutes, the entire group was crying.

When we debriefed at the end of each circle, the gratitude and connection the women reported was phenomenal. Almost every single participant said they had never felt such connection before in such a short period of time. I have conducted talking circles with college students and coaches, and they made similar reports.

In 2008, we held our second conference and repeated the talking circle exercise. This time we were fortunate to have Marilyn Naylor in attendance. Marilyn, like me, is born in the North part of the Wheel. We are both thinkers and lovers of ideas. Our challenge is dealing with our emotions. Most people who are born in the North suppress their emotions. They would rather rationally approach situations and examine them from their mental perspective rather than getting down and dirty into the emotional side of events.

The topic for our 2008 circles was, "What has been the greatest lesson of your life?" We again broke the group into the various areas corresponding to the Wheel. What was fascinating, however, was where the emotional responses occurred. As in 2007, there were more women in the West and South parts of the Wheel and fewer in the North and Spring parts. What was surprising, however, was that our South Circle was laughing and having great fun. In contrast, our North circle, with Marilyn being present, was completely crying their eyes out.

The power of what happened here is that those women who are thinkers, truly got in touch with their feelings in a safe and comforting environment. As in 2007, the amount of connection that was created was intense. A number of women reported getting help with challenges that they had not been able to resolve in the past. Once again, the Wheel worked its magic.

Regardless of the challenges that you are facing, especially if it is a group challenge, the talking circle is a powerful way to make sure that everyone has input and that your final decision, whatever it may be, is the best decision possible.

Posted by Bernice Ross

Photo by Darwins Eye

How to Heal Sick Energy

We've all been in homes where someone is seriously ill, even if it's with something as temporary as the flu. If you walk into the areas where the ill person is staying, you often will find the area has a sick room feel. To rid the area of its sick energy, follow these steps:

1.  Do not reinforce the illness with special attention and care. This can create what psychologists call a disease prone personality. This occurs when people get attention from their illnesses and unfortunately, the illnesses often become progressively worse.

2. Clean up the room by opening the windows, changing the linens, and eliminating as much of the sick paraphernalia as possible. Shift the focus from illness to wellness by making the room as cheerful and light as possible. This approach uses attraction. What we focus on is what we attract. In other words, by focusing on wellness, you can help the person who is ill heal more quickly. Focusing on the illness, only reinforces the illness. Thus, getting well becomes much harder.

3. Native Americans "smudge" to clear negative energy. Smudging a room (burning sage—preferably white sage if you can find it) symbolically rids the room of its negative energy. To smudge a room, you can begin with your home direction on the Wheel, the sick person’s home position on the Wheel, or the current season. For example, if you were in the fall and several different people were ill, you could start with "West" or Physical energy. This means that you would begin smudging in the West part of the room. You would then go clockwise to the North, East, and West. Be sure to smudge under the bed, in the closets, and in any other nooks and crannies.

4. If you're clearing sick energy for someone else, start with the ill person's home position on the Wheel. Thus, if the person who is ill was born the winter time, start in the North and then move clockwise through the other four directions. If you are in a place where there are several people are ill and you are not, you may want to start with your home direction to put forth your own wellness energy. Thus, if you were born in the Spring, you would begin in the East and then move clockwise through the other three directions. If it was summer time, you could then go into the room(s) that need to be cleared and begin with the South or emotional energy and then move through the other directions.

5.  The idea here is to incorporate what psychologists call self-fulfilling prophecy. This concept has been repeatedly replicated in laboratory research and confirms that what we expect to happen is almost always what actually does happen.

Ultimately, healing sick energy involves addressing all apsects of the Wheel. You must heal your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and your physical being to be in harmony and wellness.

Posted by Bernice Ross

Photo by Blugeon86

Honoring Mother Earth

One of the most important Native American traditions I learned from Marilyn Naylor was "Honoring Mother Earth." A simple way to do this is to buy a bag of cornmeal. Then, beginning with your home direction on the Medicine Wheel based upon your season of birth (December, January, February begin in the North; March, April, May begin in the East; June, July, August begin in the South; September, October, November begin in the West) scatter the cornmeal around the perimeters of your property moving in a clockwise direction. Depending upon the direction where you start, say thank you for the gifts of each direction. In the North, be thankful for your mental or thinking gifts. In the East, be thankful for your spiritual gifts and for the gifts of your community. In the South, be thankful for your emotions, both the positive and the negative. In the West, be thankful for you physical gifts. In each direction give two or three examples of these gifts to make this even more powerful.

When you return to your home direction, thank "Father Sky" for the sun, the moon, the stars, the winds, and the rain. Also thank Mother Earth for nourishing you and for supporting every aspect of your life. End by thanking "Great Spirit" (God, Jehovah, Allah--whatever your belief system is) for all that you have been given.

Posted by Bernice Ross

West or Fall: Bear Energy

The West or Fall months on the Native American Medicine Wheel represent the time of harvest. We plan in the winter, plant in the spring, nourish our crops in the summer, and harvest in the fall. According to Nakota Sioux tradition, the bear represents our past experience (the historian).

Whatever decisions we make, it's important for us to consider the wisdom of what we have learned in the past. Winston Churchill once said, "Those who fail to heed the lessons of the past are doomed to repeat them."

What lessons have you learned in the past that you are not heeding? Take the wisdom of the bear and remember the richness of your own past experience as one of your best teachers.

Posted by Bernice Ross

South: Mouse Energy

In Nakota Sioux Tradition, the mouse is the animal placed in the South on the Wheel. According to our friend, Tony Alexis, the mouse reminds us of the importance of being in the present. The mouse is focused on what it is doing in this moment. The South on the Wheel represents our emotional nourishment. Are you taking care of your emotional being? What are the emotions that you are experiencing at this moment? Focusing on each moment now, rather than the past or the future, is the best way to create a happy life, free of the pain of the past as well as the worry about the future. As one of my friends says, the best present in life is the present.

Posted by Bernice Ross

East: Eagle Energy

In our last post about the energies associated in each direction on the Native American Medicine Wheel, we looked at the winter months or "North" on the Wheel (December, January, and February.) The energy associated with this direction is the Buffalo.

For those born in the spring time (March, April, and May), our friend Tony Alexis of the Nakota Sioux Nation in Canada, tells us that the animal associated with the spring or spiritual part of the Wheel is the Eagle.

The Eagle is the visionary who teaches us to see far and wide. This energy represents our foresight. The Eagle teaches us that we must be able to see the outcome or end result of things. The Eagle represents leadership. A person who leads as well as those who teach, like the Eagle, must often travel their path alone.

Regardless of the direction that we are born on the Wheel, we can use the foresight of the Eagle to help us consider how are actions will affect our higher purpose in life as well as those with whom we interact. The next time you're considering taking action, take a moment to become the "Eagle." Look ahead to the consequences of your choice and then choose well not only for you, but for those around you.

Posted by Bernice L. Ross

North: Buffalo Energy

Our good friend Tony Alexis of the Nakota Sioux Nation in Canada, shared with us the animals his tribe associates with each direction on the Wheel. The animals assigned to the Wheel differ from tribe to tribe. We honor the traditions of all Native peoples and invite any one else who would like to share their traditions to do so on this blog.

In Tony's tribe, the North on the Medicine Wheel is represented by the buffalo. The buffalo is strong, determined, and will stampede towards where it wants to go, especially if something is blocking its progress. The buffalo, however, can pulled off of focus. It can go off to graze and forget what it's supposed to be doing.

If you're born in the winter months (December, January, or February), does the buffalo energy describe you? Are you someone who plans and implements with purpose? Are you distracted to go grazing in your kitchen or easily pulled off of projects by distractions?

If this is the case, remember that your home place on the Wheel is in the North with thinking and planning. To avoid being pulled off of focus, layout your plans for what you would like to achieve. Next, look at how your plans will be of service to your community and to your higher calling in life. Check your emotion to see if the action you are about to take feels right. If it does, then you're ready to take action and to achieve the best possible outcome.

Posted by Bernice Ross