Lots of real estate salespeople reference the idea of win-win negotiations. A bigger question is to what extent are you playing "win-win" in your life and in other areas of your business? In most cases, many agents, especially in the luxury real estate market, play win-lose more often than they play win-win.Here are three proven steps to shifting from win-lose to win-win.
1. Be OK with making mistakes
Instead of believing that you always have to be right, a different approach is to look at what happens as one of the many different types of possibilities. Most of us are terrified of making a mistake or looking foolish. Mistakes often make us feel like losers. That's a critical distinction. To illustrate this point, almost no one considers Thomas Edison to be a loser or a failure. Nevertheless, he tried over 10,000 different ways to make the light bulb before he hit on one that worked. His approach was to say, "I discovered 10,000 ways that didn't work." His approach creates a win-win rather than a win-lose situation.
To illustrate this point in your luxury real estate business, assume that you lose a million dollar listing after working hard on it for six months. Instead of being angry or resigned to the situation, you could ask, “What new possibilities are open to me now that this listing is no longer occupying my time?” “How could you locate a more motivated, realistic seller?” If it’s time for a much needed vacation, you could create lots of possibilities by asking the question, “Where can I go?” Asking questions about possibilities moves you out of the up-down spiral of win-lose and into the "can't lose" realm of win-win.
2. Win-lose is nothing more than a game
Have you ever thought about the fact that all games are essentially inventions that someone made up? What constitutes being a winner or loser is like baseball or football—it’s a game someone made up. Consequently, there’s no requirement that you play “win-lose.” Instead, you can make up your own game where there are no winners or losers. For example, rather than looking at how much money you earned or focusing on production goals, shift to focusing on the contributions you make to others. When you approach the business from the realm of possibilities, the types of contributions you could make are limitless. Specifically, did you help someone set a realistic price on their home, even though you did not get the listing? Did you provide someone with excellent service that they may not have received elsewhere? Did you bring a smile to someone who was in an unhappy situation? To master the practice of possibility, constantly focus on all the unique ways you can contribute to others.
3. Don't take yourself so seriously
If you have been in business for any length of time, can you name all of your past clients? In most cases, the answer is "NO!" Yet, during the time when you were having problems with their transaction, it may have seemed as if it was the end of the world. While it's true that the client may remember you, most clients don't even remember their agent's name.
One of the best ways to make sure that your clients remember you in a positive way is to let go your need to be right. A key point to remember is that, "It's their house, it's their mortgage, and it's their decision." When you let go of having to be right and focus on the possibilities for helping your clients make the best possible decision, you have let go of win-lose and created a win-win for everyone involved.
When it comes to your business or your life, you have three choices—resignation, anger, and possibility. You cannot live a full life under the shadow of resignation, bitterness, or anger. Isn’t it time to consider the possibility of exploring possibilities?
Posted by Bernice Ross,Join us this week on RealEstateCoachRadio.com with New York Times Best-Selling author Don Hutson, the author of the One-Minute Negotiator. If you want to negotiate more effectively, you can’t afford to miss this incredible two weeks of shows with Don. Here’s what he will be covering this week in his 10-part series called: The Selling Style that Works: Monday: How to Create Low Stress and High Trust; Tuesday: Communicate Like a Pro;Wednesday: What’s Right vs. Who’s Right? Thursday: Handle Customer Concerns; Friday: Maximize Customer Loyalty.
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