Luxury Clues

Feeling Tired & Depressed? The Cause May Not Be What You Think

Let's face it. Anyone who is in the real estate industry is under tremendous amounts of stress, especially with today's market conditions. Take a close look at this pattern--does any of this sound like you? 

Three alarms in the morning and it's still all you can do to get out of bed. Not to worry, you'll jump start yourself with a hot shower and a couple of cups of coffee. Even though you slept eight hours, you're still exhausted. Besides, nothing happens before 10 a.m. in the real estate business and that's about the time you come to life.  

It seems like your allergies are kicking up again or is just that stupid cold that you still haven't been able to shake? Who knows. Work seems to be all you do. You're so exhausted the thought of exercise is overwhelming. Having fun is a distant memory. Thank goodness for the soft drinks and coffee that keep you going. You're not eating that much but you're still gaining weight. You have even given your spare tire around your middle it's own name. 

Besides, between 3:00 to 4:00 p.m., you are just beat. Some chips, chocolate, and a diet drink are just the cure. The good news is that after you have dinner you get a second wind--at least until about 9:00 PM when you get really tired and feel like you should go to bed. No problem--you push through the fatigue with your fifth cup of Starbuck's and at around 10:00 you're awake. Problem is that now you can't go to sleep until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. No wonder you're struggling with depression--who can feel great when you're exhausted all the time? 

While you may not have all of these symptoms, the real problem may be something that your doctor may not know anything about. In times of stress, our adrenal glands are responsible for controlling the stress that we experience. They are part of your first line of defense against illness and stress besides mediating blood sugar, sex hormones, and a number of other functions. 

Our chiropractor shared a book with us called "Adrenal Fatigue: the 21st Century Stress Syndrome" by James L. Wilson. Although he has a website that is packed with information, the book has a detailed assessment that lets you determine to what extent you may be functioning from adrenal fatigue. There's also a simple salivary test that you can take (information on the Wilson's website) that let you determine if this is happening to you. Sadly, doctors today are no longer trained to identify the symptoms. Instead, they're likely to prescribe anti-depressants or tell you there's nothing wrong. The more symptoms you have from the description above, the more likely you are to be experiencing this. 

The treatment is pretty reasonable. More sleep, a better balance in your eating, more frequent balanced meals, no caffeine or alcohol, and light aerobic exercise. I was having many of the symptoms described above, made some changes in my diet, started exercising more, and started seeing an acupuncturist. My energy is better than it has been in years, I'm sleeping better, and not craving the sugar and chocolate (well at least not all the time.)  If you suspect that you are possibly suffering from adrenal fatigue, take the simple salivary test to find out for sure. Then make the changes. You won't believe how much better you will feel. 

Posted by Bernice Ross author of the #1 Best selling book at NAR 2008, Real Estate Dough(TM) Your Recipe for Real Estate Success. 

Tired of Not Sleeping? A Better Way to Grab More Zzz’s

What keeps you awake at night? Is it the economy, too many bills, or just the stress of being in the real estate business? There are plenty of strategies that can help you get a good night's sleep. Here are some of the old standbys.

1.  Change your mattress: 

Most mattresses have approximately a 10 year lifetime. One of the Tempurpedic mattresses may work. We invested in one of the beds that allows you to adjust the hardness. I sleep just as well on a standard Posturepedic mattress with a pillow top.

2.  Eat something with Tryptophan: 

Tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin which regulates sleep. Foods that contain tryptophan include milk, eggs, and turkey (so if you're tired, have a turkey sandwich with a glass of milk.)  

3. Melatonin

Melatonin is available in health food stores and is also a precursor to serotonin. The challenge is although it is sold over-the-counter, many health professionals advise not using it.

4.  Prescription sleep medication

Many of these drugs are addictive. They also impair your ability to drive and make quick decisions. Not a good idea for someone who sells real estate for a living. Worst of all, it often takes increasing doses to maintain the same effect.

5. Acupuncture 

This solution actually worked well for me, but it can run into thousands of dollars if your insurance doesn't cover it.

6. A hot bath and a cool room

A hot bath will make you drowsy by raising your body temperature. (This is what causes us to sleep more when we have a fever.) Also, most people sleep best when the room is cool. 

7. ZEO--an entirely new alternative for better sleep

Priced at $399.00, this is not a cheap alternative, but it's less expensive than a new mattress. The ZEO technology does what sleep labs have for years--it monitors your brainwaves and helps you identify the specific behaviors that promote sleep for your brain. It also helps you to identify the behaviors that may be keeping you awake.

Most people cycle through 4 or 5 complete stages of sleep each night. You experience your deepest sleep when you first go to sleep (Stage 4). As the night progresses, you sleep less deeply until you wake up in the morning. The ZEO lets you see your unique sleep patterns. It can also help you identify what time will be the easiest to help you get up in the morning.

In addition to the monitoring, the ZEO site has great information on other strategies to help you sleep better. So if you're having trouble getting enough Zzzz's, it may be well worth a try. 

Posted by Bernice Ross, Stress getting to you? If so, contact me personally at Bernice@RealEstateCoach.com for a complimentary interview with a member of our highly experienced real estate coaching team. 

Worried about a Swine Flu Pandemic? How to Manage the Fear

Are you spending time worrying about a Swine flu pandemic? If so, it may be useful to recall the events of September 11, 2001. While it's smart to take precautions, today's post provides a a slightly different perspective that may help you get back on track.

First, fear in small amounts is useful because it helps us to avoid dangerous situations. The problem with experiencing fear over an extended period of time is that it weakens our immune systems making us more vulnerable to disease and injury. This occurs because our bodies, during times of stress, release a substance called Cortisol that causes damage when present for long periods of time. To break this pattern, do something where you become totally relaxed and your mind is off of what's happening on the news. For example, take a long luxurious bath, have a massage, or go see an old movie that makes you laugh or cry—either way you're counteracting the harmful effects of Cortisol. 

More importantly, fear can paralyze us preventing us from taking action. Even the bravest of the brave has fear—the challenge is do you let it stop you or do you use it to move ahead?

If you're being stopped by the constant onslaught of bad economic news over the last few months or the headlines warning of a swine flu pandemic, consider the following facts about what happened on 9/11. Of the 50,000 people who worked in the World Trade Center, 45,000 survived. In other words, even if you were in the targeted buildings, your chance of survival was 95%.

 Of the thousands of commercial flights that take off each day, only four were successfully hi-jacked on September 11. You're more likely to be struck by lightning than to be a passenger on a plane that crashes or is hijacked.

Have you been vaccinated for chicken pox, small pox, Hepatitis A and B? You're much more likely to die from complications from these diseases than you are to come in contact with Swine flu, at least at this time. 

Do you smoke? Do you take Aspirin? Do you drive? Are you overweight? Do you drink lots of caffeine or eat foods that contribute to heart disease? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you are managing your fear because you still are engaging in these activities. 

A very dear friend of mine used to say, "Pray for sunshine, prepare for rain." Now is the time to take precautions for your health and your family. Stock up on enough food, water, and any medications that you may need so you have a 30 day supply. This is just good disaster planning. Today, for example, a tornado touched down here in Austin. There has been flooding throughout the area as well. We never know when something may hit. The idea is to plan for it and be prepared. If you don't end up using all the supplies, donate them to a local food bank. 

The Law of Attraction says that we create our own reality. Another way of saying this is that what you focus on is what will show up in your life. For example, if you are focused on all the evil in the world, that's what you will experience. If you focus on what is good, that's what you will experience. Your brain filters millions of events everyday. Where you place your concentration determines the quality of what you will experience. 

Very simply, the world is a treacherous place. In general, people who are happy and who laugh often seldom become ill. You can choose to focus on what can go wrong or you can approach your life by being thankful for all that is right. 

Posted by Bernice Ross--Do you need help with a challenge that you are facing? If so, please email me at Bernice@RealEstateCoach.com for a complimentary interview with one of our great team of coaches who can help you create the business and the personal life of your dreams.

Thirteen Strategies for Meeting and Overcoming Today's Challenges

There's no question how tough it is out there. We all have times that test us. What makes this particular time so challenging is that there are so many of us going through this together. Sometimes, even our best efforts aren't good enough. The question is how can you prepare yourself to better handle these situations? These 13 strategies will help you grow your effectiveness at handling the challenging times that we are facing. 

 1. Self care. Taking great care of yourself is the only way to stay in top mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual condition. Working from this place will make coping with any challenge easier.

 2. Know yourself. Giving your best is subjective and personal. Being able to observe and acknowledge when you are giving your personal best at any specific moment is an essential skill.

3. Allow your best to grow over time – ignore the desire to defend that you are doing your best and you can’t do any more. No matter how good you are, there’s always room for improvement. Also, small improvements over time add up to big changes in overall effectiveness.

 4. Support – coach, friend, mentor—anyone who encourages you to be at your best, even when it’s painful. Being at your best requires a solid base of support.

 5. Partnership – working directly with someone when you come face to face with a situation allows you more resources than tackling it alone. Just make sure that you and your partner are aligned and working toward the same outcome.

 6. Regularly train yourself to grow and improve. Waiting until the last minute to get trained is a good way to magnify the size of any challenge you face. Start your training early and maintain it for an extended period of time.

7. Mental toughness – learning how to handle a tough situation is like learning any other skill. First gain awareness, then practice, and finally, use feedback to improve. Again, start doing this BEFORE you need to use it.

 8. Give yourself permission to exceed your abilities without having the need to beat yourself up. Each of us is our own worst critic. Exceeding your abilities is much easier when your inner critic is on holiday.

9. Make a list of 10 significant situations where your best wasn’t enough and describe how you handled the situation. Write down what worked for you and what didn’t work. Keep this list handy and refer to it when facing challenges. 

10. When faced with a challenge where you have few strengths or abilities, minimize any consequence of failure. Take small steps that you can easily deal with and avoid taking huge risks. 

11. Express gratitude often to your self and others who support you to grow. Pushing yourself beyond your limits is a sign of courage and a willingness to grow.

 12. Stay present. Every day is a new day – what may have been easy yesterday might prove challenging today and vice-versa. Use what you have available today, not yesterday.

 13. Laugh. Pushing your abilities will undoubtedly make for some incredible stories and comedy.

Posted by Bernice Ross--Need help staying positive and improving your results, contact us at Bernice@RealEstateCoach.com for a complimentary coaching interview to get your business and your life back on track.

You can also follow me on Twitter @bross.

In or Out of Control?

Is your life out of control? Are you a control freak? Either extreme can be a challenge. With change coming at us faster and faster, feeling overwhelmed is a natural consequence. A common reaction to overwhelm is paralysis: there is so much to do that we are unable to do any of it. When we finally begin to tackle some of the tasks that are overwhelming us, many of us go into control mode as a means of coping.

The "learned helplessness" research demonstrates that when people lose hope and give up being at cause in their lives, they not only develop serious disease, they often die. Having a sense of control is an important aspect of creating a happy and balanced life. The difficulty is most people do not distinguish between the control of their reactions to life's events (healthy) vs. attempting to control life or other individuals (unhealthy). Attempting to control others or life's events is usually tied to attachment to outcome. We need to be right, we need to be in control. This need normally sets us up for failure, since no one really has the ability to do anything other than control their own reactions to life's events. This in turn, creates a vicious cycle where we create expectation, the expectation is not fulfilled, we feel less in control, we try to exercise more control, the situation deteriorates even faster, and we become increasingly overwhelmed.

If you would like to break this detrimental pattern, here are three strategies. First, begin by identifying a time where you had a great deal to do and handled everything effectively.  Now compare this to a time when you were paralyzed by overwhelm. What was the difference between the two situations? How did you handle yourself in each situation – was it the same or different? How did you feel after handling the situations? What worked? What didn't work? The next time you face overwhelm, use the strategy that produced results for you.

The second strategy is to let go of attachment to results. This can be extremely difficult. The key is to realize that each of us can only do our best. Letting go of how things should be lets us shift focus to doing the best we can under the given circumstances. We cannot control outcome, but we can control how we react to the outcome.

The third strategy when facing overwhelm is to identify something small you can handle well. By taking baby steps, self-confidence increases and your sense of not being in control lessens. Also, if possible, choose to handle a small aspect of something important rather than handling something easy, but unimportant.

Remember, how you use control is a choice. Exercising control over our responses promotes our health and well-being. Giving up hope, being paralyzed by overwhelm, or trying to exercise control of others undermines our health, happiness, and ability to function effectively.

 

Posted by Bernice Ross, Want to get control of your life? If so, our talented real estate coaching team at RealEstateCoach.com can help you conquer the tough market, increase your profitability, and help you live the life you truly dreamed of living.  

Fifteen Gifts to Give Your Valentine Throughout the Year

To honor Valentine's Day, here are 15 ways to show your Valentine how much you care, not just on February 14, but throughout the year.

 

1. Awaken your Valentine with a good morning kiss, instead of an alarm clock.

 

2. Leave your Valentine a "post it note" in their brief case, drawer, or car letting them know you were thinking of them.

 

3. Surprise your Valentine when they come home by placing heart shaped helium balloons that say, “I love you” in the garage.

 

4. Give the gift of a smile—clip out cute cartoons, funny sayings, or amusing articles to let your Valentine know you love to laugh with them.

 

5. Give your affection openly (yet appropriately). Hold hands, put your arm around your Valentine, give your Valentine an impulsive kiss just to show you care.

 

6. Give compliments often—"I love how that looks on you," or "You did such a great job on that". Let the compliments come from your heart.

 

7. Does your Valentine pick up the mail? Send them a special card just to say how much you appreciate and love them.

 

8. Say "thank you" often, especially for the routine things you do for each other such as cooking, washing the dishes, doing the grocery shopping, or taking out the trash.

 

9. Leave a message on your Valentine's voicemail just to say "I miss you" or "I can't wait to see you when I get home."

 

10. Listen to your Valentine, even when you disagree. Avoid interrupting and allow them to finish their thought. Let your Valentine have the last word.

 

11. No matter how much we love each other, each person needs their own quiet time to read, reflect, or unwind. Honor your Valentine's need for "alone time."

 

12. Join your Valentine in an activity he/she normally does without you. Have a good time.

 

13. Spend at least 5 minutes holding each other before you go to sleep every night. When you kiss good night, never forget to say, "I'm so happy you're in my life—I love you."

 

14. When you are traveling, call your Valentine each night just to let them know that you are OK, no matter how late it is. 

15. Give your Valentine a hug often - especially when you are specifically asked. Enjoy the hug as if it were the first time you ever hugged your Valentine.

(Photo is from Union Square in San Francisco)

Posted by Bernice Ross and Bryon Van Arsdale, www.RealEstateCoach.com, the home of the best training and consulting in the real estate industry as well as the #1 Selling Book at the 2008 NAR convention, Real Estate Dough, Your Recipe for Real Estate Success.

Are You at Risk for a Heart Attack or Other Major Illness--Take this Quiz to find out

According to Dr. Pearsall's research, there are two behavior patterns that contribute to major illness. He's termed these two patterns, "Hot Reactors" and "Cold Reactors."  To determine if either of these patterns fits you, answer the following items as "True" or "False." (Scoring is at the end of Part 2)

Part 1

1.  I never seem to have enough time. Consequently I've gotten quite good at multitasking.

2.  People sometimes tell me I'm too quick to anger.

3.  I'm extremely competitive

4.  I have absolutely no patience for long lines or for stupid people.

5.  I tend to be very restless—sitting still is simply not my style.

6.  I don't have as much power as I really need and deserve.

7.  I don't let people get too close to me—you never know when they're going to double cross you.

8.  I tend to hold my tension in my necks and shoulders.

9.  When I look in the mirror, there are brown circles under my eyes.

10.  I have a vertical crease where my earlobe joins my face.

Pattern 2

1.  When things go wrong, it's generally my fault.

2.  I like to check and double check my work.

3.  My life is pretty dismal—there's not much to be happy about.

4.  I usually give in, even when I know I'm right.

5.  I have a tough time deciding what to do—it's hard for me to make up my mind.

6.  I often feel inadequate—it seems like everything I do is simply not good enough.

7.  I pretty much view the world as being black and white—What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong.

8.  I worry constantly about being separated from those I love.

9.  I keep my emotions to myself.

10. I spend a great deal of my time and effort on nurturing others.

Scoring:  Count up the number of "Trues" for each section.  If you have five or more "Trues" in Section 1, you are what is called a "Hot Reactor." This is the behavior pattern associated with, heart disease, autoimmune disorders, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, Arthritis, Allergy, and Asthma. Of special concern in Section 1 are the last 2 items—the brown circles under the eyes and the vertical crease at the base of the earlobe where it joins the face. Research has repeatedly shown that these two features are physical markers for heart disease. Their presence, according to Dr. Pearsall, is an immediate call to action to change your lifestyle now.

If you answered with five or more "Trues" in Section 2, you are what is called a "Cold Reactor." This is the behavior pattern associated with an underactive immune system resulting in increased viral and bacteriological infections and cell disease, i.e. cancer.

If you had less than four or less "Trues" in both sections, you are probably living a life that puts you at much less risk for serious illness. 

 

Posted by Bernice Ross, the home of Real Estate Dough, the best new real estate sales training book at NAR 2008

The Secret to Having a Great Life--It's Not the Money

As we move into the holidays, most of us take a break from our busy real estate careers to reflect and plan for the upcoming year. As you look back on 2008, ask yourself, "What are my most special memories from this year? Chances are your most special memories are those outside your business. In general, the richness of our lives comes not from how many houses we sell, but from the times spent with friends and loved ones. If you're ready to start having more of life outside of real estate, try the ten-step process below. It makes no difference which step you take first. The point is to begin the process and build from there. If you're challenged, email us at Information@RealEstateCoach.com for a complimentary coaching session from REC.

1.  Schedule at least one weekend day off from your business at least twice a month. This day is for you to enjoy either alone or with loved ones. Fill the day with activities you love—not with errands or activities that needlessly drain your energy.

2.  End your day by 7:00 PM at least two weekdays per week. This means no phone calls, no faxes, no work of any kind. This is your time to recharge with a relaxing meal and with activities that make you feel good.

3.  Create more time in each day by dumping non-essential activities. Whether it's office gossip, a friend who keeps you on the phone too long, or some other potential energy waster, a simple "No" or "I have another appointment" (even if it's with yourself) is your best strategy to create more time for you.

4. Each day, schedule at least two activities you find to be relaxing and/or enjoyable. Whether it's reading, meditating, exercising, taking a long bath, having lunch with a friend, these times are critical to creating a better quality life.

5. Contact at least one close friend a minimum of once a week just for the sheer joy of feeling connected with someone outside your family you love.

6.  Have dinner with your family or with someone you care about at least five times per week. Research shows adults who dine with those they love have 50% fewer heart attacks than those who eat alone.

7.  When you're at work, concentrate on work. When you leave the office, "close the door" on your work activities. Letting your work become "all-consuming" will "eat you alive" and prevents you from enjoying precious time off.

8.  Deal with problems immediately, no matter how uncomfortable it is. If there's a sticky problem you're having trouble resolving, write down all the potential solutions, select the best approach, and then let it go. Needlessly rehashing the problem only reduces the joy from the other areas in your life.

9. Discover something new. At least once a month try something you've never tried before. It can be as exotic as traveling to a foreign land to something as simple as trying a new recipe. The more creative, the better—and if it flops, think about the great time you'll have telling the story.

10.  Keep a "great life" journal. Each day, no matter how difficult the day was, write down at least three things you noticed that we're perfect in their own way. Whether it's a huge win or something as simple as noticing a bird's song or a butterfly flitting through the air, noticing the simple "joys" can make a major contribution to "having a life."

 

Posted by Bernice Ross

 

Photo by Teddy Llovett

Feeling Down? The Absolute Best Way to Raise Your Spirits

I was in San Juan Puerto Rico to speak for RE/MAX broker owners last Friday. Before my session, there was a brief presentation on Children's Miracle Network. This is an amazing charity that takes care of more sick children than all the other major children's charities combined. My cousin's son was born at 24 weeks and has experienced surgery after surgery. His birth weight was less than 2 pounds and this network saved his life. In fact, he was one of their "champions" who had the opportunity to be on radio and television plus receiving a tour of the White House.

What a found interesting about their statistics was the research that shows how powerful giving to others is. The best way to get rid of the blues is to give to someone else. If you can't afford to give money, volunteer to help others whether it's reading to children or visiting an elderly person who spends their days alone. In fact, Steve Kantor's book, Billion Dollar Agent-Lessons Learned, shows a consistent pattern for top producers. Almost 80 percent of the top performers in his book were actively involved in charity work.

If you're feeling blue, then the best thing you can do is to offer a hand to someone who needs it. Say thank you, be grateful for what you have, and give the gift of you.

Posted by Bernice Ross, www.RealEstateCoach.com, the home of the best real estate sales training, real estate consulting and coaching in the industry. Visit our library of Listen and Learn Real Estate audio broadcasts--only $29.95 per month for over 100 audio broadcasts that will make your business soar!

Five Ways to Fight the Onslaught of Bad News

Now didn't this silly picture make you laugh? We are absolutely being inundated with bad news, yet when I look outside, it's gorgeous, people are outside playing with their kids, and nothing has changed at my house.

Nevertheless, even though I'm normally a pretty positive person, the events of the last few weeks have pulled me off focus, kept me awake at night, and essentially put me into a pretty upset place. While there is virtually nothing any one person can do except to wait for the financial markets to improve (and they will bounce back, they always do), what I can do is to control my attitude. Here's what's working for me besides funny Halloween pictures.

1. I turned off all political shows and am doing my best to stop reading any polls about the upcoming elections. The name calling and negativity was transferring over to how I was viewing things. Buckminster Fuller, the inventor of the geodesic dome once said, "Environment is stronger than will." I have freed myself of all the negative chatter and actually am getting back to normal.

2.  When someone else wants to engage in a discussion about something negative, walk away or change the subject. Don't be afraid to say, "Let's talk about something positive."

3. When someone starts dumping all their negative stuff on you, ask them to pause and then ask, "Tell me what is one thing that is going right?" If they can't think of anything, point out that they have all their limbs, a roof over their head, safe food, clean water, good health, etc.

4. Watch something funny. Rent a funny movie, go to a comedy show, subscribe to an online joke service. Laughter wards off cancer plus a host of other diseases.

5. Get physical. We're in difficult times. Take better care of yourself physically by avoiding greasy and sugary foods. Engage in physical activities to relieve stress. Hug those you love and care about. Get a massage.

As the old saying goes, "This too shall pass or I will." Make a point of telling others how much you appreciate them. When you look for what's going right and focus on putting a smile on someone else's face, you'll end up feeling a whole lot better as well.

Posted by Bernice Ross, www.RealEstateDough.com Look for Bernice's New Book--Real Estate Dough, Your Recipe for Real Estate Success--352 pages of the best real estate tips, strategies, and insider secrets ever! Don't wait--order today to get the edge on tomorrow!