One of the greatest ways we hurt our motivation, our personal lives, and our businesses, is by doing something my husband calls "compared-to-yous." While we all do this, women are especially prone to engaging in this type of behavior when they say, "I'm too fat," "I need to go on a diet," "My hips are too big" etc.
How can you tell when you are engaging in this activity when it comes to your real estate business? Here are some examples of how people sabotage themselves using this harmful approach:
1. I am too old to learn about social media or text messaging. That's for young people.
2. John was born rich. He has all the right contacts. I will never be able to achieve his level of listing success because I don't have those kinds of connections.
3. Susan has been selling real estate in our neighborhood for 20 years and is the top producer in town. I'll never be able to break into doing business here.
The trap in each of these statements is that the person is comparing themselves to someone else. Someone who looks very successful from the outside, may be struggling with diabetes, family problems, an addiction, or some other issue about which you have no idea.
What can you do to stop this harmful behavior? Here are five easy steps.
1. Each person has their own specific combination of strengths and weaknesses. To become a top producer, you don't need to be good at everything. Instead, become really proficient at one or two areas of the business. If you're really good at getting leads from open houses and you hate cold calling, focus on holding open house more often. If you are good at getting leads from networking, spend more time at networking events. The goal is to develop your business around your strengths, not your weaknesses.
2. When you feel the urge to compare yourself to someone else ask, "What can I do that this person can't do?" It may be something as simple as being a good parent or grandparent to your kids and grandkids. It may be that you are more charitable. Find the points where you differ and celebrate those differences. They are what makes you the unique person that you are.
3. It can be highly discouraging when you watch someone who is very good at what they do and you're only a beginner. When you start to feel not good enough, remember that every expert was once a beginner as well.
4. Don't try to be someone you're not. People will value you for how much you care about helping them, not based upon who you think you should be. Today's buyers and sellers don't want to hear how great an agent is, they want to know how you can help them get the best deal when they buy or sell their home.
5. When you catch yourself in a "compared to you," it's normally based upon someone who has something that you don't have. Instead of envying what they other party has, immediately shift gears and name five things about which you are grateful. If you're having trouble, consider that you have heat, clean water, a roof over your head, good health, people who love you, etc. Being grateful is the best way to avoid becoming stuck in the "compared to you" trap.
Posted by Bernice Ross. If you liked this post, listen in to our new Internet radio show. packed chock full of the best real estate training tips in the industry from the best of the best in the real estate business. Why not check it out right now at www.RealEstateCoachRadio.com.